Thought Process

I try to reason my thoughts. Always. Even if they are completely crap. Sometimes I find loopholes in my plans. Then I try to cover those loopholes by adjusting my old plan. But I never succeed completely. Sometimes lack of resources, sometimes lack of skills and sometimes complete and utter absurdity remind me that I will not succeed if I worked things that way. Then I discard the idea because it did not matter to me that much. It was just to use my mind a little, have a little fun.
Sometimes I have great thoughts too. But they are never fun. I don’t make a plan. I just think about them and as soon as any difficulty appears , Whoosh!! Left them. I often try to remember those ideas. But a pen and paper is always better. Phones don’t give me the feels. I wrote some of them down. Never worked on them. Seemed hard. Then some song will play in my mind and then I will try to sing along. I leave things when I have done them a little. I don’t have any passion towards anything. Everything is just for a little fun. A little fun is not that bad, is it?

I think it is when you do nothing else. You need to do a thing in your life that you don’t like. Most often it is your job. People like me who make a thing they like their job are bound to hate that thing later. Because they are not free anymore. If they were free, they would be able to not do that job. And that is the moment they realize that they hate this job. All I have concluded is everything is fun as long as you are free. Freedom is the ultimate cause of happiness. But I have an idea now and since I am writing this down, even though it is not pen and paper, I do not have to care about forgetting it. So, according to this idea, if a person has the illusion of freedom about his job, will he enjoy it? To tell you the truth I don’t know the answer. But since I am good at finding loopholes in what I think, the person cannot have the illusion of freedom until he believes that he can leave his job at any moment he likes. But why would he want to leave his job? Since it makes him happy and pays for his food. Now he can’t lose his job. The illusion is not working properly. I am having contradictions that I cannot handle. This is the moment where I leave this idea. Maybe you can think about it better.


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