Music is not helping me at this moment. I hate moments like these. You feel a burden on your mind that you cannot pinpoint what it is but it is taking all of your mind. You cannot do anything productive in these moments. Distractions are useful but they are only helpful for a very short span. As soon as the distractions disappear, the weight on your mind appears again. What is even worse, the more you think about it, the heavier it gets. There is no escaping it. One needs to let it out. Break something valuable, throw something, punch something. Something to let the burden bleed off your mind. I am not even rich. I can’t destroy or throw something valuable. I even think about the cheap stuff that I have got. When in need of stuff, you have got to. Maybe someone will understand what I am going through but I don’t expect anyone to. Although I think that they will laugh in my face if I said it to them. They will probably tell me to pull it together and I am not mentally strong enough to tell them that I cannot. All these things only give me one thing, more time to think. Any more time by myself and I just might do it. I don’t want to say it. I am going to stay away from dangerous objects from now on. I am a guy of impulses now. Any elaborate plan, I am going to scrap it. I am the king of scrapping my plans.