Gave up so much to be cool; my quirks, my patience, my concerns,
Only to need them later in my life, but now I am so cool.
Believe me, when I smile, it can be fake or real,
No one can tell the difference; not even me, because now I am so cool.
I can’t throw a rage fit, I can’t scream or yell at anyone or anything,
I have to endure it all silently, I really am so cool.
All the emotions that I felt before, all of them hidden with a smile,
And that smile buried them all, somewhere I never have gone
I really want to break down into tears and anger and fists.
Bare it all in front of the world and show them all how much scarred I really am,
Fuck faces and masks and facades
Fuck my coolness and my cool ways
Fuck funny misdirection of every serious talk
Please teach me to care for myself.
Please teach me how to be calm, not cool
Please take me to the ocean of peace
Please take that fake smile off my face
I am so sick and tired of it.