Sometimes I wonder if I am tired of my life. I know I should not be. Life has so many things that are interesting. But in some moments, I really think I am tired of it all. I feel like a drone in those moments. Then I stuff my earphones in my ears all the time to ease this feeling. But all it does after a little while is that it makes me tired of the music itself.
What is the point of it all? Lack of friends is a burden I don’t think I can bear. The people I am surrounded with, I know them too well. Whose opinions are shit and not worth listening to; I know them. Who just copy someone else’s opinions and present them as their own in their conversations; I know them too. And some guys, who don’t like you, but never say it straight to your face; you keep deciphering their behaviours until you know for sure. People who like you; but stay a little distant because you are too crazy and unpredictable. I know them all.
What the fuck do I do? I just want to have a good time in life. I don’t want so much money that I work day and night for but don’t have the time to spend it on something that might bring me happiness. I am not going to do what everybody else does. Get a job, settle down, marry someone ;fuck all of that. It’s not for me. I am going to be so unhappy if I do that. I know it is a difficult path ahead of me, but with support of a few people, I could make it so much fun.
Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely is what I am.